7 Times Down, 8 Times Up
by Toph Hitsugaya
Summary: Toshiro has fallen down many times but he's always been able to get back up and keep on going one more time


7 times down, 8 times up

Summary: Toshiro has fallen many times but he's always been able to get up and keep going one more time. Rated T

This is my first story and it's only a one-shot. Please enjoy. This is inspired by my favourite quote. Some of the times that Toshiro has fallen are cannon but some are ones I made up myself

Toshiro was born getting up. He didn't see himself as being born weak, he saw himself as being born as a fighter. He saw himself as never being down in the first place. He was born getting up. He was born strong enough to keep getting up no matter what.

_Therefore, he had got up once_

The first time Toshiro fell was when he died. Or rather, when he was killed. His father had thought him a freak, a snowy haired freak that would make the world a better place if he just curled up in the corner and died. Toshiro wasn't about to obey his father on this particular order but on the 20th of December, he had no choice. His father came home in a towering rage, found his twelve year old son studying for a test and beat him to within an inch of his life. It was 2 hours later that Toshiro finally died, alone on the carpet in a world of agony.

_He had fallen once_

The second time Toshiro got up was when he woke to find himself in the soul society. He had the vaguest memories of immense pain and then a tap on his forehead of something hard. Later he would come to learn that this tap on the head was a shinigami performing a konso on him. He hoped he would never have to find out what caused the immense pain.

Toshiro came to his sense in the soul society to find himself buried in snow. The snow was cold and surrounded him, tugging at him, pulling him. It would have been so much easier to just lie there and let it all flow away. It would have been easier to just die again. But that wasn't Toshiro's way. That wasn't how he did things. So he pulled himself out of the snow and made for the closest light he could see. The light in the future would signal a warm smile, gnarled yet comforting hands and a place safe from all the bullying he experienced.

_He had gotten up a second time_

The second time Toshiro fell was about a year after coming to the soul society and finding a home with Granny and Bed Wetter Momo. He had been immersed in a new game that involved a tree, a branch and an unsuspecting cat. Of course Toshiro would never admit to playing such a childish game but it made him happy, it made him feel brave. It just so happened that a hollow had sensed an immense spiritual pressure that happened to be Toshiro's (though he didn't know it at the time) and came to investigate. It speared Toshiro with its claw and then was speared itself by a couple of shinigami sent to investigate the hollow. Upon seeing the boy, the 2 shinigami rushed him to the fourth division where he lay, wrapped in a deep slumber.

_He fell a second time_

Toshiro got up the third time after this attack. He woke about a week later and came face to face with a gentle looking lady who sported a front braid. She introduced herself as the captain of the Fourth Squad, one of the Gotei 13. She explained that Toshiro had been lucky enough in that the hollows claws had just missed vital organs. Toshiro had figured this meant his heart and lungs. She went on to talk about recuperation and how it would be hard. He could not even bother, she told him. He could live his life as a cripple. She said this with a wink and a not too subtle hint at how nice it would be to help him along the road to recovery.

Even without the 'subtle' hint, Toshiro would have still chosen recuperation. He wanted to be strong. He didn't want to have to worry anyone ever again. So he worked with the captain, Unohana as she insisted he call her, and soon was able to stand up, walk around, and run without the slightest sign of very being injured. Granny visited him and told him how proud she was. "My little warrior", she called him.

_He had gotten up for the third time_

The third time he fell was in a training accident. He was new to the academy and already in the highest possible class and well on his way to graduating in only a year. This would equal to the current record of graduating, he was told. It was supposed to be a simple mission to the human world, to observe a town that had residents possessing high spiritual pressure. A hollow attacked and Toshiro leapt in the way of a comrade who he owed nothing. In fact, this boy had made Toshiro's life at the academy a complete misery but Toshiro wasn't about to let someone die. The hollow mauled Toshiro until the leader of the mission came to save him. Toshiro was left a bloody mess on the ground.

_He fell for the third time_

The fourth time Toshiro got up was after the mission failure. Another painful road to recovery, where giving up and going home would have been easier. Where simply forgetting about his promise to his Gran would have been better for him. But this wasn't about him. Toshiro fought to get better in record time and was soon back on his feet and back in the academy, no sign he had ever been gone. Nobody missed him. Nobody clapped him on the back and expressed feelings of relief that he was ok. But that was fine with Toshiro. He had gotten up after and all and that was a fine reward.

_He got up for his fourth time_

Toshiro fell for the fourth time in an attempt to gain Bankai. He was about to graduate the academy and his goal was to have achieved Bankai before then. It wasn't arrogance or a desire for power; it was the urge to protect others. To have power of the power he possessed. To make sure his reiatsu wouldn't be a threat to anyone again. Toshiro worked with his zanpakuto, training constantly and still maintain his grades. It was hard work and making excuses for the injuries he received wasn't easy. And Hyourinmaru, his zanpakuto, was a hard teacher and stronger then Toshiro had imagined.

But it finally happened, one snowy winter's day, and as he said those words, nothing could have felt better. Then came the immediate drain of reiatsu and the blackness that rushed in on him. A certain Shinigami, one that Toshiro would constantly argue with in the future, found his crumpled body and rushed him to the fourth division. He was declared to be in a coma. A deep coma.

_He had fallen for the fourth time_

Toshiro got up for the fifth time when he pulled himself out of the coma. He had been in this coma for 2 weeks and graduation was coming up. It had been decided that with grades like his, Toshiro would graduate with the others, including a certain bed wetter, even if he was still in the coma. Unohana still wished he would wake though.

It had been dark in Toshiro's mind. His inner world was gone or if it was there, it was dark. Toshiro had been subconsciously aware of the predicament he was in and tried to wake up. It was like swimming up a waterfall. The path was slow, hard and the slightest slip up sent you straight back to where you had begun. Of course, most would have given up but Toshiro wasn't most. He kept pushing and exactly 1 day before graduation, he opened his eyes.

_This was his fifth time getting up_

Toshiro fell for the fifth time 2 weeks after becoming a captain. He was yet to select a vice captain but had 2 main candidates. There was the lady who had helped him on his path to becoming a shinigami, to becoming a captain. Rangiku Matsumoto was a skilled fighter, had achieved shikai and possessed fierce determination. She was however, easy going, a slacker and had a weakness for sake. The other candidate was Kurai Ryu, a pale girl with a fear of getting in trouble and a desire to please. She had also achieved shikai and was obedient enough when it came to work but she was timid and didn't do too well in a fight.

Toshiro led these two on a mission into the human world but the trouble didn't come from the hollow. It came from a curious human invention called a bus. Kurai wasn't looking where she was going and stepped out in front if the machine. She could have also thought that because she was invisible, it meant she was unable to be touched let alone hit by anything human. This wasn't the case. Matsumoto had lunged out and pulled Kurai away, putting herself in danger. Toshiro then calmly pushed Matsumoto out the way, getting himself hit in the process. He went down hard. It was a bus after all.

_He fell for his fifth time_

Toshiro's sixth time getting up wasn't anything to do with the bus accident. He recovered from that well enough. No, Toshiro experienced his sixth time of getting up when Kurai was involved in an accident that took away the use of her legs. His third seat had improved her confidence and was one of the two people in the division who did the paperwork. Him being the other. Toshiro, Matsumoto (who was now his vice-captain) and Kurai were on a mission. They often went on missions together. It was supposed to be just a simple mission, clearing up a group of about 5 menos but that's what they were always told, that it was just a simple mission.

The fight went well enough at first but as it drew to a close, a hollow which wasn't a menos appeared. It had sharp, long claws protruding from its 3 fingers and it stabbed Kurai right through her stomach, chest area. After making quick work of the remaining menos and the hollows by using his Bankai, Toshiro and Matsumoto rushed Kurai to the fourth division. It was about an hour after they had arrived that Unohana came out and gently told Toshiro that Kurai had lost the use of legs and would be forced to leave the Gotei 13. Toshiro couldn't remember what happened next but Matsumoto told him that he started to shiver and then started to hyperventilate. Unohana then gave him an injection as she classified him as going into shock.

Toshiro had been very unstable as he watched all the signs of Kurai, save a few photos of him with her and Matsumoto, vanish from the tenth division. The slightest thing pushed him over the edge and he was almost asked to take leave. But that wouldn't suit the snowy haired captain so he pushed through the pain and rose up again. It was hard for him, harder than any physical injury and it took a long time to fully get over the pain or at least not overreact over it as he used to but he did it.

_He rose for the sixth time_

Toshiro fell for the sixth time when Aizen slashed him open. Toshiro had just discovered his beloved sister's body and he went numb with the pain. It was unbearable, a gaping hole in his chest and he lost control. But Aizen was powerful, maybe even more powerful than the head captain and he took Toshiro down easily. Toshiro knew that if captain Unohana hadn't turned up when she did, he would have died for sure. There was no doubt about it. There was too much blood and it was everywhere. Was it Momo's? Was it his? That's what he remembered thinking as he lay there, unable to move, unable to even call for help. He was in too much pain to even consider anything but himself and Momo. And outside, the fight raged on.

_It was his sixth time falling_

Toshiro's seventh time getting up was after Aizen had gone. After Aizen had gone taking Tosen and Gin with him. Momo was unresponsive, it was a miracle she was alive. The soul society was in ruins after the betrayal of 3 captains and the startling events that the Ryoka brought. Toshiro was in ruins. But only on the inside. On the outside, he was the good reliable captain that he always was. He had to work on the inside though. He had to get better; he needed to push through this. He needed to put his mind at peace to reassure if not just his closest friend but him. As always, Toshiro considered giving up. He thought about handing in his haori and devoting his time to Momo and his Granny. But as always, it just wasn't his way. He put his mind at peace, he talked to Hyourinmaru, he cried when no one could see him. But he got through it. The trip to Karakura town helped him as well. It was nice to be away from it all whatever he let the others think. He got back up as always even if Momo couldn't.

_So he got up for the seventh time_

Toshiro's seventh time falling was during the final battle. To be honest, when he looked back on this moment, the only things he could remember were blood, so much blood and then the pain. The pain that took over his body, wormed its way into every bone, every tiny part and consumed him. He couldn't remember Aizen. He couldn't remember Momo. He couldn't remember Ichigo. He couldn't remember Matsumoto. He couldn't remember himself. There was nothing of him to remember. All that there was to remember was the red that coated everything and the pain that brought him so close to death. Death that would have been welcomed when the pain took over. Death that he was so close to welcoming. Death that he had almost let himself be grabbed by. Death…..

_And so came his seventh time falling_

To be honest, no one thought Toshiro would get back up from his seventh fall. He remained asleep for almost 2 years, peaceful yet not awake, not aware. He had many visitors, Matsumoto being the most common sight. She had taken temporary control over the tenth division but had still clung to hope that her beloved captain would recover. Another common sight in the hospital to the surprise of many was Ichigo. Yes, the white haired captain had journeyed to the living world but no one though they were especially close. In fact Ichigo even got permission to set up a bed in the tenth division and help Matsumoto out.

When Toshiro eventually woke up, he was confused and weak. He spent a lot of time repeating what he had said only mere moments ago and seemed to think that everyone was Hyourinmaru. He would be fascinated over the smallest things like a dead bug on a windowsill and a hell butterfly floating by with a message. He thought Matsumoto was his mother and that Ichigo was his brother. The two didn't have the heart to tell him that they weren't. His mind had shattered, Unohana said. She was unsure of him ever recovering though she encouraged everyone to keep hope.

Matsumoto had the shock of her life when she was in the tenth division, trying to motivate herself to do some paperwork. She was rather efficient most days but her mind was stuck on the latest image of her captain. He had been talking to her, calling her mother and asking if he could go home soon. It was hard, Matsumoto had realised. It was very hard. Then a rather pale hand reached into her tear blurred vision and snatched up her pen. Then the hand neatly filled in the sheet and signed their name in swirl of fancy writing. Toshiro Hitsugaya.

And Matsumoto had clung to her captain and sobbed into his new haori. She ran her fingers through his fluffy hair and breathed in his sweet scent, fresh and clean. Then she had drawn back and looked him in the eye, taking in his overly skinny body and unnaturally pale skin.

"How are you here?" She had asked.

"I just got back up" Toshiro had said. "Like I always do"

_The eighth time up_

So what do you think? Don't be afraid to offer advice. After all, it is my first story.


End file.
